WAS VERBALLY “MEAN” TO MOM TODAY

Today I was quite unkind to my Alzheimer’s mother, whom I love dearly and daily.  I don’t like how I talked to her at all.  I was pretty mean in a tense situation.  Anyway, in the past, I would struggle so badly with guilt in such a situation I would be partially incapacitated.  That may sound noble.  But, it was really because my purpose in life was not necessarily to love others well (including my Mom).  It was all to often to try for ME to be a good person because it made me feel temporarily better if I succeeded in this good behavior or that good behavior. I’m handling this differently today.  I’m renewing my mind about how much Grace God has provided to cover my sin.  And how God doesn’t even SEE my sin. This leaves me free and able to focus on loving MOM and loving OTHERS in my life instead of being all bound up (self-absorbed) pondering how I failed and whether or not I’M a good person, whether God is displeased with ME, etc.  When I get a pang of guilt remembering my bad treatment of Mom, I’ve been meditating on Roman 8:1.  Although I can clearly see (but don’t agree with) the argument that it’s cold and wrong to not feel guilty after such sin.  I can see why 95% of Christians would think that it’s WRONG to not feel guilty in such a situation.  But, I strongly believe that the 5% are right, that God knows that it’s such lavish GRACE that will enable us to love others well.  But, it really doesn’t seem rational until you experience getting off the hook for your sin and seeing how you become more loving, kind, patient, good than you’ve ever been before.  I’ve lived it.  I’ve read it in the Bible.  Millions of other Grace oriented Christians are living it and I know it because of what they write online. 

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