At age 18, I fell into severe existential despair/depression/anxiety. I had 4 years of very severe suffering, and another 8 of fairly severe suffering with it. At 30, with tons of doubts, I asked God to apply Jesus’ perfect righteousness to my account. Then, from age 30 to 60, I’ve been working out my salvation with fear and trembling. Meaning: that I’ve been seeking deeper Truth hoping that I could end up living in the “peace that passes human understanding” that is talked about in the New Testament. My peace and joy has grown through the years. My biggest breakthroughs have been in the last year.