Wait a minute.  It sounds like you’re talking a lot about forcing yourself to believe certain things.  Is this brainwashing?  No, it’s not.  But these things are true.   God has things set up such that reality/truth is really quite different than we may think it is and that it takes some effort to accept/believe what is surprisingly true. Exactly why God didn’t choose to make the ultimate truths easily evident is a very complex theological matter.   If you really need to get a satisfying answer to this question, then go for it.  But, for now, it would be easier if you could just accept that there is a greater reality than your material world and God has wanted a process of seeking to realize this and grasp it.  This requires us working toward believing certain things that aren’t readily apparent to those who believe that our time/space/material universe is all there is.  The rewards for accomplishing these insights about the greater plan are much greater than any rewards like money, fame, etc.


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